Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
