But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize