Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
