I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
