A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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