in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We talked him into tasing himself.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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