it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
