school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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