Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She bit a glass in half.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Randomize
