No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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