I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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