my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize