great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
