Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
