Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
