Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
