Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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