she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
