You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
