in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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