the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
