how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
