Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
