he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
