you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
