Walk of Shame today included voting.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
