you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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