So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
