He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
