Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
