I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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