we're blogging at a bar
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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