I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
