What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
