i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
