i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
