The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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