so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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