Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
