You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
