can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize