She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
