Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
