Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
