Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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