He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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