it hurts more in the daytime
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
