Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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