You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize