the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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