I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
