Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize