Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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