I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
