We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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