Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
