Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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