im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
