he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
