Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
