I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
