Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
