I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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