BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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