Fine. I'll sleep in my office
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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