handjob tips. give me some.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
