you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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