You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
