i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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