I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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