): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
