Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
