Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
